Down With Nature.

It’s soooo noisy outside, why is the world so busy?! I really needed to get out of the bustle so took myself, my pal and the pooches for a very long walk in the woods. It was great to be at peace with nature and stop the busyness in my head…..

I wake up and for a split second I think the world is ok and then reminders and triggers start to intrude into my mind. That first walk with my little girl helps sometimes, my little girl is amazing for me. If I didn’t have my dog I wouldn’t want to get up most mornings. She seems to feel what I feel and when I’m down she gives me such comfort. Dogs are a comfort and I am so very lucky to have found my girl.

We walked for a couple of hours and it was fantastic, it cleared my head. No traffic noise, no sirens, banging, shouting or people rushing around. I think it would be great to live in the woods away from everything. Somewhere I don’t need to pretend I’m ok when I just want to tell people to get the hell out of my way. Or when people are complaining about nonsense things which don’t really matter! It’s also difficult being surrounded by people who don’t understand a single thing going on in my mind. To be fair though I don’t know what’s going on myself so how can I expect anyone else to understand. I can be ok for a few hours like today but then something triggers a memory; the noise of the helicopter which flies over the house at the same time every day. The sound of the sirens rushing passed from the local ambulance station or the back blow of an exhaust…all of which passed me daily before my exposure to the hell I experienced and unfortunately continue to experience….

About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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