All in a day…

Currently sat in my onsie watching TV on the sofa which is where I’ve been for most of the day.

I woke up this morning as I have quite a few mornings with the most awful sore throat! It isn’t the sort of sore throat you have when you catch a cold or throat infection. Its like someone is trying to drag their way out of it.

My throat is sore from screaming in the night. I don’t remember much of it but I know I was in the chinook which was spiralling out of control. We had been shot down but I woke up before we actually hit the deck….

I woke up shaken and didn’t know where I was for a second or 2 but then heard my little girl crying for a pee pee. I dragged myself out of bed and took the kids out to try to clear my mind. For most of the morning things where really productive. Washing was done a d so was all the shopping. It was reaching lunchtime before I started to feel it. I made the mistake of putting the TV on and the news headlines came on. The local news was covering a mass casualty scenaro in Liverpool and the RAF deployed helicopters to aid recovery…BOOM….I was floored there and then!

I was due to pick up lunch and eat with my grandparents so I went ahead as planned. I had so much I wanted to do this afternoon but instead, I left my grandparents after lunch and apart from walking the pooches I have been behind closed doors away from everything. My head feels numb and I’m watching mindless TV to try to detract my mind….

About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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