Well what a day!!! I’m sure most of you remember those wind-up toys that just took off once you’ve wound them to the max. Well I have felt like one of those toys since waking up this morning…..
Today was a day of anger for no particular reason. I woke way too early again after what I would class as a minor dream compared to some I’ve had recently. My chest felt really tight and I felt hyper sensitive to all the different noises. I cant explain how I felt except think of a person that really gets on your nerves and grates on you, image you and this other person are stuck in a faulty lift so your feeling a little claustrophobic and this other person just wont shut up!! Well I felt ready to blow for sure!!
I was meant to travel to visit my lovely niece and celebrate her sons 1st birthday but sadly there was no way I would be able to handle it and I so didn’t want to ruin there day with an ‘episode’.
On my doggy walk I kept thinking someone was following me so I kept turning round. I was clearly anxious and hyper-vigilant so I decided I would take the pooches to my grandparents as they always have a calming affect on me. I then went up to my flat as I needed to burn off the anger, I ended up packing up most of my flat which is what I have been trying to do all week but never had the inclination or energy to do it.
It got to about 3pm and I went back to my grandparents to spend the evening with them. We looked through old pics and reminised and I have now come down from it. I am still a little anxious but on a very limited scale.
All that from waking up – welcome to PTSD as I know it….