Covering over the cracks.

The plan for this evenings blog was to continue talking about the symptoms I am experiencing and how they have effected me so far. However, yesterday’s blog was really difficult and it has taken me most of the day to rid my mind of it.

This in turn affected my productivity in decorating my new house. I was planning on a full days work but my mind wasn’t in it and only stepped foot in there after 2pm and left at 4.30pm having not completed very much at all. The work I commenced was to full in the cracks in between the woodwork and the walls. It was a little life lesson in itself if you think about it. You can fill up the cracks but the cause will still be there…

….s&!t me!!!!! Just heard a bloody big bang and my heart is racing!!!! Oh the joys of bonfire night approaching, I cannot wait!!!! Where was I?….

….covering up the cracks without identifying and rectifying the cause. It may be ok for the short term but eventually the cracks will reappear. Face the cause head on….this I hope I am doing by opening up. In doing this though it brings everything back. It has to be done though and will hopefully be worth it.

Time for an early night ready for a full day in the house tomorrow fingers crossed. My heart is still pounding…


About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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