In the dark…..

Received a visit from SSAFA this morning and it was really positive, leaving me with a feeling that part of the system is working to help me finally. When I received the letter saying they are closing my case I was gutted so to see the lovely Eva today was very welcoming. My faith in the system is definately being restored, in parts for sure.

Eva has stated that I can commence a therapeutic work placement which is fantastic and she is going to set it up. I would like to commence work in a care home for end of life care or a hospice. I have worked a lot with Macmillan Cancer Support and with my gorgeous nan sufferring with the dreaded disease it is very close to my heart. My nan has me and others to care for her but there are so many others who do not have anybody there for them. Everyone deserves a hand to hold…

So I was feeling quite down on things because I just felt abandoned by the system. I have not had any counscelling since moving up to Wigan in June. I’ve had no one really to talk to about my darkest moments. I talk to my mum and my grandparents but obviously I try to protect them as much as I can. I need someone professional who can help me clear my mind and stop me wanting to climb into my treasure chest and push the lid down!!

Eva has passed me another lifeline and suggested I source a councillor private and the system will pay. I was completely taken aback by the offer but also a massive sense of hope. Obviously I bit her hand off and I’m so relieved that I don’t have to fight battles to sort travel. Fingers crossed this is the start of things to come and I can move forward. I don’t want to continue living in this dark place any longer. I feel I may finally be reaching a bit of light hopefully….


About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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