Yesterday evening I decided it would be sensible to stay at my mums house instead of being on my own. I sat in my onsie on the sofa trying to remain calm but not sure it worked very well!!! As the bangs started my mum turned the TV up because me and the 2 dogs jumped out of our skin.

So how did it affect me? Despite the fact I knew I was in the ‘here and now’ I was really anxious, fidgeting a lot, my heart was pounding and I had a little headache. My hands were sweaty and I flinched every time I heard a bang. Although I was expecting the firework bangs I was on high alert waiting for them….Between them and the sirens rushing past I was in for a very fun night!!!

I stood up to go to the loo and I was seriously aching. My mum said she wasn’t surprised because I had been glued to the sofa in such a tight ball. I didn’t even realise… I was absolutely washed out trying to keep myself together but I didn’t do as well as I would have liked.

Tonight I’m sat in my lounge and the blooming bangs have started again. My poor little doggy has gone rushing to the back of the sofa. I really don’t know who’s worse, her or me bless her.

I really wish fireworks could be banned from public sale. They should just have organised displays on the one night it would be so much easier. It’s more like bonfire season than bonfire night!!!! This is going to go on for a few days yet sadly. Fireworks affect so many of us and not forgetting our pets!! What gets me is that bonfire night started from a chap who had to go underground to practice his religion, decided he no longer wanted to do this, chose to partake in an act of terrorism by attempting to blow up Parliament with the King in it. Beggers belief why bonfire night is celebrated at all….


About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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