Monthly Archives: December 2014

Demons hide in dark places.

Before I write about last night I would like to honour the life of Daniel Prior who would have been celebrating his 31st birthday today. Dan was one of the brave hero’s who sadly did not survive horrendous injuries sustained … Continue reading

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Losing a career because of my career.

So I walk out of bingo Sunday and walk across to Tesco at 3.40 knowing the store closed at 4. At warp speed I worked my way through, focused entirely on the electrical department. I was lucky enough to have … Continue reading

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Trapped in a dream.

Currently sat in the bingo hall with my mum and Dave at half 12. I woke up later than planned following a really horrific dream. I spent the first part of the morning rushing around trying to get organised for … Continue reading

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Keep fighting those demons.

I’ve been offline for a couple of days because I have had a special couple of days. It has reminded me of the reason I get up in a morning and why I keep fighting my demons. I haven’t been … Continue reading

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How will the story end?

Black Friday, a crazy Monday online, no deliveries due to high demand, supermarkets packed out at all hours of the day, even on Christmas Eve, shoppers bumping trollies to try to reach the checkout first, angry drivers fighting for parking … Continue reading

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I am the light at the end of my tunnel.

The last couple of days have been pretty good to be fair. I knew it was going to be really busy and stressful and almost decided not to venture out at all. However, I can lock myself away forever and … Continue reading

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Stigma – The silent killer.

I bet every single person knows someone or is THE person suffering in silence through a mental illness. Also caring for people with mental illness isn’t easy and they may also be subjected to stigma. Carers may include experienced professionals, … Continue reading

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Treat the body not the person.

It’s 0441 and I’m now awake, lying in bed listening to the tick of my bedroom clock, the clicking of the radiator after the heating has decided to come on at some random time (must check the settings), and hearing … Continue reading

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It’s the season to be jolly.

I spent most of my day at the Centurion Centre in St. Helens today. I’ve decided to volunteer at the community centre which is run jointly by Rev. Bill from St. Marks Church and the Veterans Council. I will only … Continue reading

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To do list.

So I’m sat in bed absolutely washed out just after 9pm. I find myself here most evenings now, completely drained. I do believe some of this has to be down to my medication but that isn’t the only reason. I’m … Continue reading

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Hell of a job.

Throughout my struggles with PTSD there is one particular shout I cannot get out of my mind. I see his face as he is brought onto the cab and I see how he ‘normerly’ looked. I wish I hadn’t known … Continue reading

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Time to step up!

I haven’t written for a couple of days because I’ve been absolutely shattered. It was a tough day yesterday and it left me so very physically exhausted!! My day commenced with my first session of counselling. It wasn’t supposed to … Continue reading

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A bloody mess *WARNING – contains graphic content*

I thought I would find out what all the fuss was about and start watching Breaking Bad. So I switched on Series 1 and the first episode was ok. I watched episode 2 until almost the end and then BOOM!!!! … Continue reading

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A chemical reaction.

I woke up today praying that my medication arrived in the post otherwise I’m in for a tough few days. Finally the mail arrived but alas no tablets. They were mailed to me a few days ago so I’m really … Continue reading

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The Long & Winding Road.

Currently sat in my onsie rocking away on my rocking chair with a nice chilled beer. The last few days have been a little crazy and I’ve got absolutely no idea how on earth I got through it! Monday I … Continue reading

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Aren’t Core Values & Ethos a 2 way process?

I have just been updating my calender and yet again I’m fretting because I have something on every day. It is seriously frustrating that I am so anxious at something I would think nothing of previously. Even if there is … Continue reading

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