Monthly Archives: January 2015

Shattered dreams-grieving a lost career.

Today I have spent a few hours in an executive box at Manchester United!!! I never thought I would be able to say that again in a hurry. Especially considering I have panic attacks in crowded places. Thankfully though I … Continue reading

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Insomnia – a vicious cycle.

One of the symptoms I truly struggle to manage is insomnia. This is something that actually 1 in 3 people suffer with regardless of what is going on in their lives. You can do all the recommended guidelines for a … Continue reading

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Relight your inner spark.

What a week!!!!! I am absolutely shattered but surprisingly ok. I started the week confronting the physical demon which has haunted me for years and affected every relationship I attempted to keep hold of. I then came back from the … Continue reading

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Aftermath of confrontation.

So yesterday I woke up with a thumping headache but forced myself out to attend my counselling session. I think the last couple of days actually took its toll on me but apart from my headache I feel emotionally ‘together’ … Continue reading

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Confronting my sexual abuser.

So as promised I have managed to trace my abuser and today I have confronted him. This has definately been THE hardest day of my life but I’ve done it. It is something that I needed to do in order … Continue reading

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Anxiety – a physical reaction.

Today I attended my first counselling session in over 12 months. Going off my last bout of counselling I was anxious about the whole process. I was worried about reliving the trauma over and over again but actually this was … Continue reading

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Suicide, the dark place….a taboo subject.

****WARNING-Graphic Content**** Just lying in bed and I suddenly thought of my house exploding around me, sensing a big explosion; feeling my heart suddenly rush and flutter at the thought of it as well as a weird sickly, heavy feeling … Continue reading

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Taking back some of the control.

Today I finally found a phone number which I think may lead me to Derek; ‘uncle’, the sexual abuser of a child. The one who took away my innocence and any real chance of forming a decent relationship. So I … Continue reading

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PTSD – this is what makes it complex.

****WARNING – Contains sexual content**** This was probably one of the hardest and most personal blogs I have ever done, made harder by the fact I have filmed it. I did this because this is such a personal message that … Continue reading

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Help raise awareness.

So I decided I would complete a video blog instead of writing it for a change. Yesterday I recorded the video but it wouldn’t upload. I tried again all day and it’s taken all afternoon today and it’s only at … Continue reading

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Sssshh, it’s oh so quiet…

The other evening (the day I made the video blog) I just couldn’t sleep because my mind was playing tricks on me again. Everything was a problem and the darkness was rearing its ugly head. I knew it would take … Continue reading

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We are no less wounded.

I cannot believe how many hits I have received on my blog. It’s only been going 3 months and I’ve received over 10000 hits. It has been read by 52 different countries and I have been blessed to have reached … Continue reading

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An embarrassing side effect…

I was absolutely shattered last night but when I went to bed it took me ages to get off to sleep. My mind was so busy and the wind was howling so bad, shaking the windows, pushing against the front … Continue reading

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