Taking back some of the control.

Today I finally found a phone number which I think may lead me to Derek; ‘uncle’, the sexual abuser of a child. The one who took away my innocence and any real chance of forming a decent relationship. So I dialled the number 4 times but it was just ringing out. I will try another couple of days over the week and if there remains no answer I will be driving to that house to see if it’s that filthy animal.

I have been spending time thinking about what sort of a future I will have now that I can no longer remain in the RAF. I accept that and somehow I have to move on if I want any semblance of my new ‘norm’. Any job which brings any form of pressure or stress may set me back whilst messing my employer about. There are days when I will hardly be able to function in a pressured environment so I have come to the conclusion I need something I can control myself. A job where I can decide when to work and what hours to work. A couple of my friends have complimented my decorating and DIY skills and stated I should take it up as a job. I shrugged the comments off previously but I really do enjoy it and it is something I can manage myself. There is no stress and noone to get stressed over. I have decided to start up ‘Shell Belle’s Handyworker’. I’m taking some control back and please god let this work. Wish me luck guys xx


About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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1 Response to Taking back some of the control.

  1. You will do great sis luv you xxx


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