Always be mindful.

I mentioned on my last blog that my grandad has been poorly. Thankfully he is on the mend after a small stint in hospital fighting sepsis bless him. I was so worried about losing him. I really couldn’t bare that he means the world to me. He is certainly on the better side now though.

You can never take your health for granted, especially as your getting older. I know it’s so hard for my grandparents at the moment because they are slowly losing their independence. I think we all need to be aware of this when looking after someone. Although they may not tell you, keep in mind to only do enough to help those you love, not too much for fear of making them feel they have lost control. From being so active, having all your faculties yet losing physical capacity must be so very hard. The good thing is that my grandparents know I’m there for them totally.

This last week has been full of various emotions ending in elation at the sight of my grandad getting stronger by the day. Yesterday though I was wiped out myself with one of my regular migraines. I woke early and managed to get up, started the usual morning routine ready to go over to nan’s. I took my meds with some milk and my head started pounding to the point I had to be sick. That was sadly me for the rest of the day. Everytime I lifted my head I threw up. I phoned my nan to say I couldn’t visit and then I was on the sofa all day. I just had to leave the rear door open so Mitsy could go out if she needed to. I had a visit planned with an employment officer who was due to come over at 1. Well she stayed for all of 5 minutes. I answered the door and had to run and throw up. I did that twice and she said ‘shall we rearrange’. Bless her lol. I came too around 9ish in the evening but still wasn’t right. I went to bed but then couldn’t sleep because I had been snoozing on and off all day. I was downstairs again having coffee and toast at 4am. Thankfully I’m ok today and back in the game.

I talked about weaning off my meds with the help of my doctor. After speaking to him on Thursday he agreed I could commence the controlled work down. So from Monday I will be on the downward journey off the pills. Thank you so much to all of you who took the time to share your experience of withdrawal with me, it was invaluable in coming to my decision. This is definately what I want now and if I do it slowly and controlled there is no reason why it shouldn’t be successful.

Recently I was asked by a member of the College of Paramedics and a senior paramedic if I would be interested in supporting an initiative to raise awareness of mental health in the NHS ambulance service. As you all know this is very important to me, gaining support and reducing the stigma of mental illness. It makes sense to support an initiative where I have experience of not just the work but the sufferring following such a role. I vow to do all I can and if sharing my story helps to do just that then I will. You can find an article on it here: http://nhstress.tumblr.com/post/115143727523/ptsd-suffering-paramedic-there-was-no-respite

I am pleased to be delivering 2 talks this week. One is at Morcambe FC for the Rotary Club, the other is a much bigger audience at the National Trauma Conference. Please feel free to join me. If anyone would like me to deliver a talk please get in touch. The more awareness we can raise together the stronger the voice.

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About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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2 Responses to Always be mindful.

  1. Clare Grant HFHJ says:

    Having briefly spoked with you about ptsd, read & watched your words. Can we chat sometime? Xx

    Like

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