Noone owns your timeline except you.

I’m currently sat in a window seat in Starbucks looking out at the world in front of me. There is a chap trying to hand out leaflets but noone was taking him on. This chap was actually in Blackburn Town Centre when I was there Monday. It must be such a soul destroying job when noone will come near you. Pretending to be on the phone as he approaches them, giving him a wide berth to try to avoid him or just completely ignoring him.

I’m sat having a coffee waiting to attend a meeting with my new colleagues, despite not having started my new role as Armed Forces Key Worker with Wigan Council yet. I’m glad to have been invited because it’s the start of a new venture. I really cannot wait to start a role which will see me supporting the armed forces, families and veterans within my local community. This is vital work which should be available country wide to assist all those linked with the armed forces. If I can no longer serve then at least I can help shape this new venture providing hope for those mentioned above.

I am so looking forward to being able to work again but I’m not nieve enough to know that my PTSD symptoms will just stop! The good thing is for the most part they are manageable. I no longer have panic/anxiety attacks when I’m out and about. I don’t know how the job will affect my anxiety levels in the future nor if my nightmares (which still haunt me) affect my job but I have to at least try. One things for sure PTSD never leaves you but I’ve reached a stage where I can manage the symptoms. PTSD will always live within me but at least I’m functioning and finally living again.

I am acutely aware not everyone can be as fortunate as me and as I write about my achievements within my own personal battle I remain very conscious of this. I have many friends and contacts who are in varying stages of going through their own struggles but I would like to provide some hope that with time it can be managed. There is no timescale on when that will be, that is individual to you and no time pressure should be placed on your recovery. Just know that no matter where you are in your journey, we can all be there to support each other.

So I’m not afraid to write about being in a good place with this because it means I am now in a better place to help you, my friends xx

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About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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