The long journey home.

**** Warning of oversharing illness content šŸ˜· ****

So who’s ready for the comedy of my day yesterday….

‘Alcohol vs Pre-Menstrual Migraine vs Very long 2 weeks’.

Planned to set off early from London so I can be home for lunchtime. Woke at 4am with a niggling headache. Took a bit of water but then dosed on and off until I was finally up at 6. I thought it was the prosecco the night before but I only had 3 and a couple of sips of wine but I wasn’t in the mood to drink and as my friends know I’m just not a drinker!!

Set off for the tube station at 6.30 and my headache was getting worse and I started to feel icky. By the time I was on the tube it was too late, I had nowhere to ‘go’ and hoped I would be able to hold out for an hour until my destination which was Uxbridge. Sadly my head was pounding by this point and I could hardly lift my head. With the stop/start of the tube I started to feel really sick. You know it’s going to happen when your mouth starts watering so I shot up from my seat and walked to the door, trying to hide my face. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to do it but I was vomiting but holding onto it in my mouth (horrific). It was awful because I had hamster cheeks so decided to get off the tube much earlier. There was no way I could hold onto it for the remainder of the journey, it was one of the worst experiences ever!!! The tube finally stopped, I ran out and thankfully deposited the contents of my mouth into the bin directly opposite. I looked around, tried to compose myself and tried to find the toilets. I was seriously sweating and feeling very unwell at this point. Reached the toilets only to find I needed a 20p piece to access, OH MY WORD this was just awful!! I’m feeling yukky again just thinking about it. I scrambled around my bag before some kind lady handed me the coin I needed. I must have looked in rag order though to be fair. I couldn’t stop being sick in the toilets and I just didn’t want to move anywhere, my head was pounding and I just wanted to cry.

I decided I was going to order an Uber rather than get back on the tube. I was still a way off Uxbridge at this point but I didn’t care about how much it cost. I just wanted to have an escape if I needed to be sick again. Whilst waiting for the uber it dawned on me that this could be my pre-menstrual migraine which always happens but in varying degrees. I checked the dates and that’s what I put it down to. However, I was also absolutely exhausted following a very busy 2 weeks, albeit very productive ones. I think it was a culmination of all 3 things (alcohol, migraine, tired body). We can all sometimes do too much because we want to be the best we can be but to what cost. You have to find a good balance which I’m learning to do but when you are starting a business you have to put the footwork into building the foundations. It’s paying off though and these last 2 weeks were always going to be busy. I had a bloody good time though to be fair šŸ˜

My Uber finally arrives and I climb in the back. I told the driver I wasn’t feeling well and that I may need him to stop en-route. So we did, 3 times and bless him he was awesome. Even handed me tissues he had in his glove compartment. I apologised when I left the cab because I was just slumped in the back unable to move my head, trying to focus on not being sick. Once out of the cab I reached for my phone but couldn’t find it. I’d left it in the cab and I started to panic!!!! Unable to properly lift my head but needing help I started asking people if they would help me contact the driver. Two people told me to ‘f’ off, 2 said they couldn’t help but then this lovely lady said she would help after I told her I was really not feeling well and I wasn’t in a state to rob anyone, I just needed help. She rang my number and the driver picked up and dropped my phone back off thankfully. Now the next part of my epic journey begins.

It’s now just after 8am at this point and I needed to find my way through the shopping centre to my car. Obtained my exit ticket then found my car. Put my bags in the boot and then threw up at the back of the car. I washed away what I could with a bottle of water I had and then stumbled into the car. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to now drive 3.5hrs up the motorway but I had to. I thought I would try to just sit for a bit before heading off but then panicked that my ticket would become void at some point. I drove out of the car park but could feel myself about to go again. I pulled into a side street, opened my car door and threw up again. Some really nice asian gentleman stopped to ask if I was alright and handed me a water bottle. I kindly drank from it and thanked him. He left and I stayed there for a short while. I decided I would try to make it to the nearest service station so I could stop safely for a bit. I had to become acquainted with the hard shoulder on a number of occasions throughout that short journey to Beaconsfield Services. I pulled up to the area where the hotel was and started asking if they had a room. I couldn’t speak properly though, it was like I was having a bloomin stroke!!! I tried to explain that I wasn’t well and did they have a room for the night. They were fully booked but they said I could pay to stay there until 12pm. I had no option so Ā£44 pounds later I was lying on the bed. After dozing on and off for a couple of hours, I hoped to feel better but alas that wasn’t to be. I checked out, went to the shop for some Anadin and Lucozade. Sat back in my car with a view to kipping in their until the tablets kicked in but it was bloody boiling. I sat for almost an hour with the aircon on, and my head resting on the steering wheel. Two lovely people knocked on my window on 2 seperate occasions to check if I was ok bless them. Eventually the tablets had taken the edge off the headache and decided I had no option but to set off again. I sipped water all the way back and thankfully only had to visit the hard shoulder 3 further times.

I was so relieved when I finally reached home at 5pm. It was the longest day EVER. Out of all this though, I take away the fact that despite the lack of support by 1 or 2, the kindness that people showed me yesterday was really great. There are some really good people in the world. I have no idea what sparked this but it could have been the combination of the above mentioned causes. I’m not a big drinker but I have had 3 glasses of prosecco without affect previously and I was drinking water inbetween. I always suffer a premenstrual headache and this was a beast that’s for sure! And as stated, I hadn’t stopped for 2 weeks so that’s a little note to self and others I guess. Huge thanks to those who helped me yesterday.

Feeling much better today, a little nauseous still and a dull headache but much better than yesterday’s horrific adventure!! It is funny now I think about it but it wasn’t at the time. Here’s to a less eventful day today.

About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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