‘Friend’ is not just a word.

I had a conversation today about having been duped by a ‘friend’ and I was sad to hear that it’s really knocked them for six. This made me sad but also made me think about what a friend actually is.

I think sometimes we learn in life what the word ‘friend’ truly means, but sometimes those lessons are hard to learn…. It’s a two way process and if that’s not the case, are they truly a friend?

‘Friend’ is so much more than just a word yet it is used far too easily by others who see it as an opportunity. Some will genuinely be a friend, others pretend to be a friend to take something they want from you. They pretend so the can gain information, or to use you to get to someone you know, and once you’ve served your purpose you are dropped. Some will pretend to be your friend because they are keeping an eye on what you are doing for their gain. Some will be a friend but with limitations, you can be there for them but then when you ask for their supportive hand it’s either given tentatively or it’s holding something far more important. Sometimes you get sucked in because you like to see the good in people because you are a genuinely nice person. Sometimes you allow yourself to get sucked in and other times, when you see a situation for what it is, it’s like a huge kick in the gut. Sadly not everyone is genuine and sometimes we learn that lesson the hard way, but we do see it in the end.

A real friend is someone who loves you, respects you, and someone who trusts you completely. A friend is honest and above all, a friend is loyal.
A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing, who doesn’t mind driving at silly o’clock to come to you in your hour of need. A friend who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t even have to talk to communicate with you. A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if your boring but embraces your quirkiness, and doesn’t even think about it. A friend is someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being out of order or ridiculous, but doesn’t actually make you feel that way. A friend understands that when you go quiet it’s because it’s the only way you can see to deal with things that are burdening you, but is there if you need to reach out.

A real friend is someone who would sacrifice a moment in their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come to you when you need them the most, through injury, illness, loss or breakdown. You know that without doubt, no matter the hour, no matter the distance, if you need your friend, you know you can count on them to be there either on the end of a phone or in person. That is a real friend and I will always be a real friend to you.

About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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