Just sat having a cuppa, head feels heavy and I’m drained. The last few weeks have been intense for so many reasons. I have just returned from a therapy session of EMDR which was pretty intense but productive.
I deleted my facebook account a couple of weeks ago because it was just draining me. Not only was I spending far too much time on there, I was also seeing so much negativity. Don’t get me wrong, there was some good posts on there but between them was so much negative energy and ridiculous ads. I have to be honest and say I haven’t really missed it; thought about it a couple of times but not missed it and I have lots more time on my hands. I thought it would be harder if I’m honest but I just haven’t really missed it at all. What has been nice is other people saying that they have missed my posts though. I am still on Twitter and Instagram so I don’t have a complete disconnect from social media.
It’s refreshing to remove myself from negativity and I have genuinely felt better for it. I was noticing the negativity was zapping my mood and on a bad day that really wasn’t great. Sometimes we have to make some tough decisions in order to maintain our own happiness; I’m glad I finally did this and focused on my own wellbeing. I think we can all be better at looking after ourselves. I’ve noticed that whilst I’ve been running on flat some days, I would never dare let my phone run flat. I think we care more about our phone than ourselves sometimes!
Over the last few busy weeks I started to notice how tired I was getting but I see that as a positive; I noticed myself going down and thats a first for me. I urge anyone to put themselves first at least sometimes. Learn to recognise the point at which you feel you are about to hit a wall and be strong enough to slow down before you crash. When we are living with mental illness, there are times when you take a slump and that’s ok. What we need to learn to do is maybe slow down and put ourselves first; sounds alien to a lot of people but try it. I absolutely love doing what I do, sharing experiences that life can hit us hard and make us fall flat on our faces, but we can get back up. I’m glad I’m able to share my negative bits as well as the positives in my life but I need to choose when I do it. It’s great to put yourself out there and share your story in order to help others. However, sometimes your posts impact so many people who then want to reach out to you with theirs. This is great and the very reason for sharing your experience but sometimes it can be intense and overwhelming. It’s important to be in a good place to be able to interact with the influx of messages that come through. I have learnt to manage this now; I’m in control of it.
So, back to today, the therapy session was really hard today and I felt washed out for a while afterwards. The good thing is I’m taking myself on holiday for a few days and I cannot wait to totally switch off (if I can)! I had many requests to support world mental health day but I will be away taking some self care time (practicing what I preach). Its fabulous to see so many people now speaking out and making a big thing out of one day but lets continue the conversation beyond the 10th October. Mental illness, if it hasn’t already, will impact all our lives in some way. People who are mentally ill are not all psychotic or suicidal, people live with many types of mental illness such as depression and anxiety daily. We should talk about it every day, normalise the conversation and share the good stories as well as the negative side of it. If we have a voice, we should speak up, use it, shout out and fill the silence. Let’s do it for all those who no longer have a voice, not just one day but every day.
Now, time for holibobs. I wish you all a happy week and please remember, recharge yourself as well as your phone.
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