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I feel very refreshed following a few days by the sea. I was only away for 4 days but every morning my sister and I sat on our balcony, face to the sun, feeling the warmth of the glow pass through us. It may have only been a few days but it was enough to recharge in great company, beautiful scenery and the noise of the waves pushing away from the shore.

I know for some people, getting outside, onto an aeroplane and heading away from your comfort zone is a scary thought. When I was at my worst I couldn’t even leave my front door! I felt isolated and unable to enjoy the things I used to like before I became ill. I missed feeling the fresh air on my face. The nearest I came to any fresh air was to open my windows wide. So, for me to be sat on a beach feeling the sun beating down, and the sea breeze washing over me, felt like heaven.

I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to build up a business and pushing myself every day to prove the people wrong who told me I would never work again! It’s been exhausting, tough going and I almost gave up a few times. With support from some amazing people I cracked on but sometimes to the detriment of my own personal health. I think I came close to burnout on a number of occasions but thankfully I stayed standing. I put myself under so much pressure to get it right that everytime I had any spare time I felt guilty. I felt I should have been using that time to do the paperwork, or the accounts, website design…. I could go on.

I haven’t really socialised much and haven’t seen most of my friends in such a long time. I’ve messaged them, spoke to them on facebook (until I deleted my account) but I’ve not really chatted on the phone or seen them in person. With all the travelling around, course deliveries and talks etc I’ve just been too exhausted. I’m sure I’m not the only person who puts themselves under this much pressure. How many of us can actually say we have a good work/life balance?

I’ve decided that’s exactly what I’m going to try to get right from now on. I am pleased to say I have taken on another trainer and will be looking for others so if you fancy joining the team give me a shout!! On a serious note, work pressure will be there whether you work 10 hours or a 100 hours. Deadlines we know we cannot avoid because they are inevitable. However, we should not let it get in the way of contacting or spending time with our friends and loved ones. We should make the time to set aside our deadlines sometimes before it’s too late. Make the time to call now or it could be too late and we receive a dead line…..

Click on the link to watch a 9 minute video on when I finally felt at peace for the first time in 8 years.

About mitsanuk

I left the RAF in 2015 following 20 years as a frontline paramedic. It has been an amazing career but then found myself suffering because of this. My blog exists as an outlet for me as well as a place for others to read and try to understand the mind of someone with PTSD. Please feel free to make comment on any post and lets raise some discussions on how we can help to end the stigma which surrounds mental illness. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please follow and share in the hope my experience will help others.
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